Warning, the below information contains adult material, if you are offended by this sort of thing then donít read on
Sex Text Chat. What is it then?
Well basically, itís exchanging flirty, sexy or just plain old filthy text messages with someone.
Who should I have sex text with?
Donít just send them to anyone, there are laws about that sort of thing!
If you have a GF or BF you can try to initiate some sexy chat with them. If youíre only on the first date or if your other half is just a goddamn prude, then you can always chat to one of our sexy text babes (click here for details). Our girls might be good to practise with first too if you donít want to nodger it up and look like a turd either.
Sexting is quite different to traditional phone sex (I guess youíve probably already worked that out!). One of the biggest differences is location.
Where can you have normal phone sex? Generally at home as itís cheapest using your land line. Also, remember that youíll probably need to speak so you need to be somewhere where you canít be overheard!
With sexting as long as you remember to take your mobile phone with you, well you can sex text wherever you want!
If youíre out shopping with your GF and sheís got some clothes to try on Ė itís only 3 pairs of jeans for christs sake but you know youíll have to wait outside the changing rooms for at least 45 minutes.
Or if youíre round her parents house and need a bit of a breather Ďjust going to get some fresh air dearí Ė then get texting!
In the pub with the lads, the list is endless. (Well OK not endless, you couldn't do it in the basement as youíd probably get no phone signal, but you get the idea!)
What should I talk about?
Depends on who youíre texting. You could chat about the football scores or the jumper your Gran knitted you for Christmas Ė but that ainít gonna get you very far!
If itís a new GF or BF you probably want to take it easy (unless sheís been around a bit). Once you start chatting just go with the flow and youíll have a great time.
See below for some examples to get you started (to be honest you can probably think of better than this!)
Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
I really am that good
Hey baby, I'll screw you so hard the neighbors will be having a cigarette when we're done
I'm so good that risking herpes will be worth it baby
Do you like cheesy pickup lines or do you just want to do it?
First, I'd kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button
The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to have sex with you on the floor
You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me
If your name were homework Iíd be doing you on top of my desk right now
The word of the day is "legs". Let's go back to my place and spread the word
I'll bet you £20 my dick can't fit into your mouth
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
Would you screw a complete stranger? (No) Then hi, my name is...
I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Would you like to participate?
Iím starring in a porno movie. Would you help me learn my lines?
My teddy bears in the wash can I sleep with you tonight?
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
I'm on a mission to get over you, in other words mission impossible
Just plain funny
Roses are red, pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in between!
A banana and a vibrator sitting on a bedside table. Banana says to vibrator 'I don't know why you're shaking, she's gonna f**king EAT me!
What do you call a man with a 2 inch penis? Justin
Old Chinese proverb says "man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok"
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
What's brown and sticky? A stick
What is the difference between Medium and Rare? 6 inches is medium 9 inches is rare
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!
Mary Mary, quite contrary, trim that pussy its too damn hairy
A man said 2 his doctor every time I look in the mirror I get an erection, the doctor said that's because u look like a cunt!
There is hot sex, fast sex, group sex, safe sex, kinky sex, telephone sex and for people with a face like yours thereís masturbation